Life Update

Last week was rough. Ethan was sick, then I got sick, then Jeff got sick. And all on different days...and it lingered about 2 days each. So we all didn't get much good quality time together. Anyways, I'm glad we're all feeling better now!

Last week was also one of those weeks where Jeff and I were just both kind of struggling with where to go from here. What to do in life, what jobs to have, wanting to be in God's will, but not knowing how to get there...
Ever have one of those days where you just don't know what you should be doing in life and you start looking at your circumstances and the job you have and just feel like there's gotta be more to life than this? That was like our week last week. The devil was just really putting depressing thoughts in our heads and it was really a tough battle. Thursday when Jeff stayed home from work because he wasn't feeling good, we just had a long worship session and just had to THANK God for all He HAS DONE and WILL DO. It seemed like all hope in things was failing, but when we turned our eyes on God, the burden was lifted. Even in the natural it just seems like things aren't going good, but when we completely give it to God and stop giving thought to it, that's when we feel free. That's what I've been doing this whole month it seems (just keep on giving any thoughts to God), but last week I started taking those thoughts back into my own hands. Just wondering what God has for me. I just want to be in His perfect will and it's so hard to know what that is sometimes. I feel like I just need to take steps of faith and just ask Him to close doors where they need to be closed and open them where they should be open. That's the other thing, I haven't been working much (only at the flower shoppe which cancels out Ethan's daycare) and so I've gotten worried about money so much that I have been tempted to go back to Eagle Street. I know I am not supposed to go back there and it was like I kept getting this image in my mind or sentence in my mind (probably Holy Spirit led) that kept saying "It's like a dog going back to its own vomit"
Enough said. I'm not going back as tempting as it is sometimes. It was such good money. Man!

All this to say, sometimes the devil tries to sidetrack us with thoughts and situations happening in the natural, but we have to keep our eyes focused on God and how HE cares for us and how He takes care of the birds and He'll take care of us too. Somehow we always seem to make it. And it's because of God's provision. I just have to keep focus on that. Our God is supernatural and He will always provide.


Here's a little story...some may say it's a coincidence, some may say it's favor!

Jeff wanted to go get some beans for coffee from Starbuck's...so we went there to get it and if you pay with a Starbuck's registered gift card, you get a free drink. So, we decided to load a card and then pay for it and get our free drink.
I guess you could say it wasn't really planned and the money would come out of our grocery fund...we decided we'd put $20 on the Starbuck's card. Don't know why $20 since beans cost $10-$12. I pulled $20 out to put on the card. After giving the cashier the money, I looked on the floor and said, "Jeff, I think you dropped this" and he said "I didn't drop that, I didn't even have a $20 bill in my wallet" The $20 bill was folded so I knew it wasn't in my wallet either (I keep my cash straight). After talking a little bit about it, we realized it was a random $20 and that paid for the $20 re-load on the starbuck's card. After finding it, it was like God was saying to me that He'll always make a way to provide. Even for the little enjoyable things in life. Some would say it was a coincidence that we found $20 on the floor and decided to put $20 on the Starbuck's card all at the same time, but some of us (me) would say that is just one way our supernatural God works and one way that we get favor in small situations like that. (Thanks, God for the coffee money...haha)

I hope whoever reads this finds some encouragement in it, and if no one reads it, that's ok too because I really just enjoy journaling about life. Let GOD be your source of provision today!!!!

We are... CNN Grill

What we've been doing for the past week...















REPUBLICAN NATIONAL CONVENTION...

Working at "CNN Grill"

Pictures to come...

People I've personally given restaurant service to...sorry if the spelling is wrong:
Anderson Cooper
John King
Wolf Blitzer
Alex Castellos
Gloria _____
Candy Crawley
Owners, CEO, CFO, of Google and Yahoo
Others...I will post when I find out their names...

I will post pictures soon...

But, for now, a Seattle Newspaper writer posted an online blog about Jeff!!!! Check it out~!

http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/this_is_jeff

A little clip about the grill...or search cnn grill MN on google!

Eagle Street Grille becomes CNN Grill

Are you hungry?

I am.
I am hungry for more.
More of what?
God.
This morning, Rodney Howard Browne was at our church and his message was about being hungry for God. He was talking about how people wait until they are in desperate situations to really get close to God. Then when they are comfortable again and life is going good, they fall away. That is not going to be me. I had an amazing hunger for God in high school. My standards were so so so high. When I started my job at Eagle Street, that is when my standards slowly, but surely went down and down and down. Over almost 4 years. Looking back, I am frustrated at how slowly but continuously I was taken down so low that I began to even question if God was really real anymore and if this "Christianity" stuff was real or just a big joke. (I think sometimes we do need to question to make sure that we believe what we say we believe!) Thank God for a praying family and praying friends that lift you up! If it wasn't for all of them. I would probably still be continuing on that downward spin. I knew that something was wrong when people at my work started telling me, "You're so much cooler now than when you first started working here." What did that mean, really? It meant that I had conformed. Conformed to their standards. To the world. It's tough staying strong in a bad environment if you're not grounded in your faith. And that is where I found myself. I was 2 different people. The one that I hated being, and the one I wanted to be. I feel like I finally have a breakthrough and can get back on track to where I once was. Close to the Father. Always hearing His voice. And to think that the world tried to convince me otherwise and I even bought into it. Today, today I could FEEL His presence. I cried. This is all so much. I see Jeff read the Word EVERY DAY. Do I? It'd be embarrassing to answer that. Although I am exposing myself. This is nothing but real. That's all I've wanted to be lately. Just completely real. None of this fake stuff. People don't like that anyway. People want realness from you. Acting fake just makes others feel intimidated or unworthy or just plain bad. Real. It's what I want. I don't like sugar coatings. I don't like it when people beat around the bush about the truth. Just keep it real and honest, right? My family means the most to me. When I see them pressing into God, it makes me want to press into God. When I see their hunger for God, it makes me hunger. And I don't care if my friends from Eagle Street are reading this. Read it. It's who I really am. When I see them being blessed by being obedient to the calls God has placed on their life, it makes me want to be obedient too. No more messing around. I feel like until I was able to FINALLY quit at Eagle Street, I could not FULLY get my breakthrough. It was a stronghold. And I know my family has been praying for me. I can FEEL it. It was like the last few times I worked there, I didn't even like it anymore. I wanted so badly to just leave. It was like God finalized things within me and I no longer desired to be there. I was reading in Sparkling Gems recently about how you cannot be friends with the world and also be a friend of God. If you are a friend of the world, you are an ENEMY of God and He will do what He can to get you back. Thank you, God, for not giving up on me and doing everything to get me back! Here I am now! Ready and willing! Man, I can just feel it. The presence. It's so refreshing. I can't sleep. How can I? God is doing great things. I could not thank more, my siblings for being such great examples. It means more than you know.

I did it.

I did it. Finally. Tomorrow is my last day at Eagle Street. I've worked there for almost 4 years...and for the past year have almost quit a million different times. I've debated and rationalized the decision for so long and this time, I finally decided to be done. It's a good thing. I already feel really good about it. It's time for change and I am soooo ready for that change to take place! I feel like instead of just working a "job" I can focus on doing something that means something to me or someone else. It's exciting! It's like starting over. And for now, I'm just going to enjoy being a mom! Also, I've been making a lot of jewelry lately and Rayna and I are going to do a craft show together next weekend to sell it! I'm excited about that! Also, I am going to start shopping around different floral shops and hopefully get a job at one part time! Yay! Also, next week, I am taking the 40 hour wedding design class at koehler dramm's Institute of Floristry! I am suuuuuuuuuuper psyched (sp?) about that!!!! I can't wait! I love going to school. Especially for something that is HANDS ON and FUN!!! This morning I was dreaming about all of the different things that I could do for my sister's wedding...hahahaha...not that she has a significant other or anything, but it's just fun to think ahead! I'm always trying to think ahead of what I'll do on my next design project or next whatever!

Here's a change of conversation...let's talk about the weather! Yesterday it almost hit 80 Degrees!!!! YAY!!! I thought I was on vacation...it was amazing. Pure happiness. So, I checked my dashboard for the weather tomorrow and the HIGH is supposed to be 44 degrees and rainy/snowy/sleet!!! WHAT IS UP WITH THAT?? SNOW AND SLEET? Yeah right! So much for those shorts and tank tops! I guess I got a little excited too soon. Oh well, I can't wait! This summer is going to be soooooooooooo much fun with Ethan! He LOVES going outside and I know he'll just love going to the beach. It'll be way easier than when he was so little and I had to keep him completely out of the sun. I can't wait! He is getting quite the personality lately too...let me tell you. He is so funny and knows when we laugh at him and then he does this fake laugh to get us to laugh more...it's just funny. Weird to think we'll be trying for another baby somewhat soon. It's all so exciting. This life is so amazing. It just makes you think and there's no way one can even imagine how amazing heaven must be.

And...one more thing...I love growing as a person. Character building. More and more lately. Just bettering yourself. My sister Sarah speaks greatly of reading lots of books to better yourself. And that's what I am going to start doing. It's time to get serious!!! :) I order all these books online because they look so good to read and then they sit on the shelf. I am going to make a list and start on it for the summer.

And another thing...my best friend, Jeff. This quitting Eagle Street is one of the best things for our relationship. This year I think we're actually going to be able to spend time together. In years past, for many many years past, we've always had somewhat opposite work schedules and hardly got to see eachother. Well, this year is going to be different. It already is. We are closer than we've ever been and our rebuilding all started on our trip to Arkansas. We finally got to have quality time. I really enjoyed driving to Arkansas. Moon roof down, frequent stops at coffee shops and just pure quality time. So great. He is so great. Becoming more and more of the man God has called him to be and I love seeing him and me grow. And growing together. The other night I came home and he had a fire going in our fire pit, he was grilling food for dinner, had loads of laundry going, and even bought some milano cookies for me and secretly stashed them in the cupboard. Wow. I couldn't have thought. It was fun. Our fire with s'mores was fun. We never really did s'mores growing up, so now I make them at every bon fire that I can...there's just something fun about it.

Anyways, I hadn't blogged in a while and thought I should update. I'm really missing my dear sister Sarah........I can't wait for her to come home, but am SO EXCITED at how much she is growing as a person! The first year out of high school I think is the hardest and most character building. So, way to go, Sarah! You're doing great! I also miss my family that is in good ol' Arkansas...a special shout out to ya'll...I love you and miss you mucho!
And to all, a good night.

At work...

Just at work...this girl begged me to work for her, so I am. But I am so bored, because there isn't anything going on at the Xcel. But, I brought my laptop and am just sitting at a back table rolling silverware and chilling...reading (and commenting) on everyones blogs...it's fun...and time for one post of my own!

I'm really excited to go down to Arkansas for Easter and my lovely sister Sarah's birthday! It will be very fun and exciting! I am actually looking forward to the drive down, too. Quality time with my best friend, Jeffrey and my little love, Ethan. I think it will be really fun! Then a 4 hour detour to Eureka Springs to pick up SARAH!!! Yay!!!!!! I can't wait! I work SEVEN DAYS IN A ROW before we leave, and then I get a nice 5 day break! Yippeeeeeeee!

Still working at the Eagle Street Grille...doing floral design...just booked another wedding for this summer. That makes 5 weddings coming up. Working on the boats again too this summer. I'm excited for that. It's always fun being on the water. Especially when Jeff and I get to work together. It's fun. Well, I have nothing else to say...I want to go on vacation. This weather the past 2 days has been gorgeous. It was 49 degrees yesterday! It's supposed to be close to that tomorrow too and tomorrow is my last day off for 7 days...yikes! I'm excited though. Later

Eagle Street...

So, I work at this place called Eagle Street Grille. My first real serving job ever. It was the first job that I have ever liked working at, and in fact STILL like working at. There is just something about being there, away from everything that is just fun! Plus all the people I work with are really cool and fun too. I like the setting...there is an area with couches and big comfy chairs and a cozy fireplace (like a coffee shop) that you can sit in too besides the dining room and bar area. It's a nice atmosphere (except at night when all the crazies come out). Anyways, it was my first job after moving out of my house and everyone there has seen me through the HUGE transitioning stages of my life...they worked with me before I was engaged, while I was engaged, after I got married, while being pregnant, while having my first baby...and that's what makes this so hard. 

Lately I've been feeling like I need to quit working there because it isn't really an uplifting environment. The thing is, it's so hard to quit because I've known these people for so long and I've spent so much time with them over the past 3 1/2 years. The people you work with, you spend the most time with...I work 20-30 hours a week and I don't even see Jeff 20-30 hours a week. So, if I'm at Eagle Street 20-30 hours a week in an environment that isn't edifying, what do you think it's doing to my Spirit? Well, that's what I'm wondering. I like working there a lot and I've been there for almost 4 years...it's so hard to know what to do.

Not only that, but the money is so so so good. It's really hard to walk away from that especially. It's nice to just always have cash on hand and it is abundant...that's the other hard part. I'm praying for direction. 

What do you think?